- Running in the morning after I’ve barely slept and all I want to do is hit the snooze button. Also checking Strava, a super nifty app that tells you how far you’ve ran and maps out your path but also shares this information with anyone you’re following. I’ve been going for runs and not tracking them and it feels great! Also, I felt a weird sort of pressure that I had to run a certain amount of times a week despite the huge amount of un-tracked exercise I was doing so I’ve said goodbye to Strava (for now and maybe forever). Anything that tracks can be dangerous for me so I’m distancing myself for the good of my mental health and it’s really working!
- Launching a project this month which I’m really excited for but don’t have the capacity to complete right now and if I did go full steam ahead, it would never be as good as it could be if I waited for the right time.
- Scrolling on Instagram! I’m just going on and searching for the profiles I want to see instead of falling down the rabbit hole and using it more as a Pinterest style app instead of feeling the pressure to read and reply to everything I see. I always kept the people I followed limited so I was able to engage with them all but that came at the cost of a serious lack of diversity. So I’ve changed it up and I feel so much better for it. People don’t care if you don’t comment on every post they do and if they do care then they aren’t worth your time.
- Having my phone on all the time. Instead I’m switching off wifi and trying to become less frantic. I swear technology has made us all become constant machines that feel like they have to keep up with everything all the time. Notifications shouldn’t cause anxiety.
- Social occasions when I’ve reached my interaction limit and need to shut off for a while. It’s okay not to go out if you don’t want to. If friends don’t understand your need for time on your own then maybe they aren’t the best people to surround yourself with.
- Blogging to a schedule. Without even realising it I’d created myself an internal calendar of how often I should be posting on my blog. I never want to feel forced to write anything so instead I’m waiting until inspiration strikes and I really want to get my thoughts down.
- Comparing myself to other people’s highlights. This links into the not scrolling on Instagram point. All too quickly I’ve gone from checking out some body positivity posts to comparing myself in my pyjamas with my hair on top of my head to a stranger’s bronzed holiday snaps on a paradise island. This my friends, is the Instagram rabbit hole.
- Drinking diet drinks or tea when what I’m really craving is a cider or a hot chocolate or something that god forbid has real ingredients and sugar and calories and all the good things.
- Replying to messages immediately. I used to think knowing when someone read a message was a GREAT thing when it actually turns out to be hell. I would presume that whoever had read my message and not replied most definitely hated me and would spend hours going over our last communications when in fact they were just busy. Believe it or not, not everything needs to be instant and I’m working on leaving my messages hanging a little until I’m in the right headspace to respond.
- Following people that trigger me and that has included some really good friends of mine whose plates of food with descriptions of how “good” they’re being makes me feel like shit. I also recommend if this is happening to you, explaining to them why this is damaging for you.
- Staying quiet when people say things I don’t agree with because I have spent far too long being everyone’s favourite doormat and if I was saying something that wasn’t right, I’d want to be called out too. Education is key people!
- Judging myself for what I’m eating because life is too short to eat things that taste gross. Full stop.
As you can see, I’ve been saying no to quite a lot of things lately and I am feeling so much better for it. I am your born and bred yes woman. Need someone to help you move house? I’m there. Want to go for a run at an ungodly hour of the morning? Sign me up! Need someone to take on your emotional burden? Sure thing. Now I’m not saying that if you want to help someone move house or you want to go for a run at an ungodly hour of the morning or you are able to support someone’s emotional needs then you shouldn’t. Because you should, doing things for others is a great thing but you also have to do things for yourself. Plus, it’s much better to say no straight away instead of persuading yourself you will totally be up for it and then either let someone down last minute or go and hate every moment of it. I have spent so long putting ridiculous amounts of pressure on myself to be and act a certain way that I’ve been holding myself to an unachievable standard and that can be so damaging.
Are there things in your life that you need to say no to? The only detox I would ever recommend is one of this kind. I have found it so fulfilling to look at my life and work out where I need to say no to things. Maybe some of my ideas will help but I’m sure there are things that only you know that you do that are damaging you. The basis of self love is to accept and respect yourself and this is a really powerful way to do just that!